Hey Ram!!!

The streets of this plateau land wore a desolate look on a weekday afternoon. Yes, on a Thursday afternoon, the 30th of September, 2010, Hyderabad almost slipped into a slumber for reasons that seemed ridiculously trivial to me. The day was otherwise special as it was my dad’s birthday and I wanted to get a cake for him to rid myself from the guilt of not baking one at home.

Stepping out of the office at mid-day was an experience of its kind. Hundreds of people were stranded on roads, some huddled near a parked auto or two without any owner in the vicinity while the luckier lot with vehicles of their own preferred to whiz past the huddling crowd to reach the safety of their homes. This was a rare sight for me and indeed an intimidating one… I wanted to abandon the thought of having to go 2 kilometers to get a Birthday cake for my dear daddy.

This was the first time in 3 years that I witnessed such a scene in my city… and all because of a verdict awaited at a place some 1267 kilometers away from here. The fear of communal violence breaking out loomed large in people’s faces. After all, it was the verdict on the sacred birth land of Shri Ram!!

Well, nothing untoward was reported after the verdict was passed. And, I too could somehow rid myself from the guilt of not baking a cake at home. But, that afternoon has left an indelible mark in my mind that often makes me question the kind of secularism my country has.

Without You...

Well, this is confession time… and my confession is to my hubby!!

I’ve spent a good part of the last three years cribbing and screaming…

Cribbing about the fact that I’m leading a sad life miles away from my folks, that I don’t have a maid who understands my language, that I don’t have a cook who can prepare Bengali delicacies for me (stuffs that I so long for…), that I don’t have a plush enough job to pay for a world tour etc. The list is just indicative and not exhaustive.

And yeah, screaming about having to do the daily activities that have been mentioned in my previous blog.

But, now that I’m left all by myself in my cozy flat with nobody to complain about, things don’t seem too rosy either.

I miss the pickups and drops to and from office, I miss the occasional surprise breakfasts that I truly cherished, I miss the pillow fights (that have existed all the while) and the real ones too, I miss the well-stocked refrigerator with fresh grocery, I miss the skewed dependency curve, I miss the companionship and most of all I miss those little imperfections that I always picked on, happily ignoring my own…On hind sight, I realize that I had grown too used to these things in the last few years to let them go.

The rosier side of things is that I’m trying to build back my self-sufficiency in leading a life all by myself. I’m learning that being ‘alone’ does not mean being ‘lonely’ and I’m discovering the joy of spending time with myself and on myself… or am I?

But, no matter what, the cons seem to outweigh the pros. Leading a life with my folks in my city is no more the same…The soft warm bed seems too cold when I crash on it after a hectic day at work and even the lonely coffee table makes me feel so blue!! I’m dearly missing you…

Then and Now

The other day one of my friends who is still happily single called me up and made an allegation that I do not connect these days. When I tried to explain to her that my day ends with me trying to finish the daily chores, she mockingly said that married women do not have any dearth of excuses. So, here's the weekday clock of an unmarried working woman vis-a-vis that of a married working woman... for record.

 

Then -

7:40 am: Snuggle in bed even ten minutes after the alarm has stopped.

8:00 am: Take a nice long shower to the tune of a latest Bollywood hit.

8:30 am: ‘What do I wear’ and ‘how do I style my hair’ syndrome.

9:00 am: Fuss over the breakfast table 'cos the beans aren't baked well.

9:30 am: Coffee with colleagues.

10:00 am to 12:30 pm: Work and chat, intermittently.

12:30 pm to 1:30 pm: Lunch followed by post-lunch stroll.

1:30 pm to 5:00pm: Work and music.

5:00 pm to 5:30 pm: Coffee again...

5:30 pm to 6:00 pm: Work and packing up, intermittently.

6:00 pm to 7:30 pm: Hanging around / shopping either with friends/boyfriend.

8:00 pm: 'Oh, it's been such a hectic day' and parents / boyfriend sympathize for such a hard life.

8:30 pm: Crash in bed with a book or magazine.

9:00 pm to 10:00 pm: Dinner while watching a favorite soap.

10:00 pm to 10:30 pm: Beauty and hair care.

10:30 pm: Slip inside the blanket with the phone, keeping busy with that special call.

Oh, such a tough life after all!!!

Now -

6:00 am: Wake up startled by that merciless ringing of the doorbell by the maid.

6:00 am to 6:30 am: Supervise the maid with sign language (thanks to the fact that you stay in a part of the country where the national language isn’t much understood or appreciated) and get as much work done as possible in the crazy 30 minutes.

6:30 am to 7:00 am: Snooze

7:00 am to 8:00 am: Prepare breakfast, water the plants, wake up your hubby, arrange the clothes, and exercise only if you can manage the time.

8:00 am to 8:30 am: Take a shower, slip into the first ironed set that you come across, light the diyas, manage with 2 to 3 strokes of the hair brush as the length has now reduced and rush to the kitchen.

8:30 am to 9:00 am: Put the breads in the toaster, heat the milk, prepare the coffee and also manage to finish off breakfast. Where's the time to fuss??

9:00 am: Hubby dear honks from the portico to reach office on time. Poor wife rushes off with a handful of goodies - bag, door key, cosmetics etc.

9:00 am to 9:15 am: The drive to office is also the time to make her look presentable for the day – to apply the mascara and to give that final touch.

9:30 am: All hells break loose - the deliverables, a sad colleague, a demanding boss and an even more demanding client.

9:30 am to 1:00 pm: Storm!!!

1:00 pm to 1:30 pm: Lunch over a few important phone calls.

1:30 pm to 3:30pm: Useless meetings that never fetch anything.

3:30 pm to 7:30 pm: Work and planning...

7:30 pm to 8:00 pm: Give reminder call to hubby to take the grocery, collect the laundry, and also manage to crib about the nagging headache that refuses to leave even after several cups of coffee.

8:00 pm to 8:30 pm: Return home dreaming about the erstwhile perfect life, get fresh and glance through the headlines over a self-made cup of tea.

8:30 pm to 10:00 pm: Put the clothes in the washing machine, prepare dinner, dry the clothes, fold them etc.

10:00 pm to 10:30 pm: Make a few routine calls to say that you are doing so well.

10:30 pm to 11:00 pm: Dinner while discussing the lovely day at office.

11:00 pm: You have all the time in the world to pursue your pleasures but your eyes shut, no matter what.

Oh such a wonderful life!!! So, my dear friend, enjoy the mockery as long as you don’t wear the same shoes!

Stay on Monsoon!!

When I was a little girl, I always wrote an essay on Monsoon, whenever the topic was ‘Favourite Season’. Never did I bunk school even when it was declared a ‘Rainy Day’. The little splish splash that I could do on my way back home from where the school bus dropped me, filled me with immense pleasure…. Dad would laughingly say ‘This too shall pass’, with the hope that I would shift loyalty from monsoon when I grew up…. But, fortunately or unfortunately this is one of the very few predictions of his that didn’t materialise.

Monsoon awakens the romantic in me…. Dark clouds, strong breeze, the musical pitter-patter of the rain and the sudden lashing against the window, almost everything seem to be just perfect!

Gone are the days when I used to dim the lights and lie down on my bed leaving 5 full size casements open….with some evergreen monsoon numbers playing softly. Also, no matter how silly it may sound now, such nights often became the witness of our (me & my younger sister) serious and secret discussions. Then there used to be the telebhaja & muri addas in the evenings followed by khichuri and ilish machh bhaja nights…Those were the good old luxurious days….

But, now when I spend all my monsoon afternoons sitting in an air-conditioned room in front of a dumb machine, and return to a lonely house with none for company but the ticking clock…the sight of the same silver rain drops bring back all those sweet memories of bygone days… days of mirth and playfulness, days of camaraderie, days of sheer bliss! Lying on a cold couch with floating memories, I softly send out a message to the wind ‘Stay on Monsoon! ’